The circumstances on which John McCain won this election cycle's nomination process dictates that he have a conservatively approved VP candidate. This candidate has to be enough to motivate hesitant conservatives to vote for his ticket. Most political hacks agree, and know this well, but I would like to give a bio and my perspective on his top four choices and would like to give the readers of this site a chance to deduce their own opinions by subjecting them to mine. McCain's political team knows that they need the conservative coalition behind him. Though I think McCain is acceptable to enough democrats that he will not need the full wind of conservatism in his sails, he will still have to unite this party. So in essence, he will need to implement the Rove (my personal idol) Strategy, which is, getting out more of your demographical voters. To do this he will need someone that is young(er), someone who is charismatic, someone who is....well not like him. No morons I am not talking Barack Obama not like him, more like Ronald Reagan not like him. Someone who is articulate, economically helpful, conservatively sound, and youthful enough to assume the electable throne of the American Presidency, in the event that McCain was, god forbid, to have some thing horrible was to happen to him. Lets get one thing “straight” about John McCain, no matter what your political beliefs are, John Sydney McCain is a great man that deserves the admiration of his country. Disagree with him politically, that is fair, but do not trick yourself into challenging his character and his convictions, the man is quite possibly the most honest and trustworthy politician in Washington D.C.

The odds on favorites to be the Vice Presidential candidate for

http://www.whitehouse.gov/nsc/ricebio.html

This is the link to Condoleezza Rice's bio. Condi is well liked by the conservative wing of the electorate, but she is pro-choice. Since she would not have any authority on this as Vice President I will refrain from being totally against her. I think Condi is a great human being and I would love to watch her in the veep debate. Her intelligence and demographical prowess could be very pivotal in this election cycle, well depending on which.... uh well you fill in the blank....candidate they nominate.

http://www.governor.state.mn.us/welcome/aboutgovernorpawlenty/index.htm

There are not enough accolades to describe Tim Pawlenty. I realize that a lot of you do not know who this is. Hell, I really did not know who this is, but it is now time to get to know him. Tim is soon to be a star of the republican party. I beg you to read his bio and do all research necessary to satisfy your insatiable appetite for conservative perfection.

http://www.mittromney.com/Learn-About-Mitt/index

Mitt Romney finally got the whole conservative coalition behind him, after he dropped out. The speech at CPAC catapulted him to the top on most list. I have to truthfully admit I most definitely was not a big Mitt fan. He seemed to have changed his mind on several key issues. He has openly stated his case several times for changing his positions, and now promises he would make the RIGHT decisions.

http://www.ustr.gov/Who_We_Are/Bios/Ambassador_Rob_Portman.html

Finally the outside guy of this group is Rob Portman. He like Pawlenty, is not well known. His economic credentials would prove very vital to the McCain team. Also his geographical help could prove very key, He is from Southwest Ohio. That is where the Rove Strategy was extremely pivotal in the 2004 elections. As Ohio goes so goes the election.

All in all, I will help John McCain no matter what his veep choice is. Given a choice between a member of a racist church, terrorist befriending, son of a hippie, or the most phony, corkscrew landing, uber b****, Buffalo Bills fan, or a decorated war vet who tried to hard to get the Sierra Club Members Card.. I will take the decorated war vet who leans right on most issues.

Barack Hussein Obama- somewhere on the Left Coast.

When the truth comes out it hurts. Man I should have realized that, coming from a small town like I do, apparently I am so ignorant and mad redneckish, that I turn to the scripture and think of my trusty rifle when I enter the voting booth. All of rural America just does not understand how to grasp the issues. We turn to our petty frivolous traditions and rights. We are all so intolerant that we go as far as getting mad at people for coming over here illegally.... Barack Hussein Obama has gift wrapped a beautiful commercial for the rest of the election cycle and just handed over another claim for the Clintons to the Democratic nomination.

At what point did it seem prudent to insult small town voters. It is not smart to alienate that large of an election block. So what if people voted based on their faith and values does that make them less American and “bitter.“ Just because small town voters vote based upon what matters most to them does not mean that they should be denigrated. Just because they do not advocate for redistribution of wealth, free health care , gay marriage, and open borders does not mean that they are unintelligent church going racist pricks. In fact, this complaint enforces the point that rural America concerns itself with the issues. According to the comments from Barack Hussein Obama, his wife, and his pastor, we the disgusting people of rural America, apparently have no right to harbor any concerns and or sentiments over illegal immigrants, jobs, and our values. God damn we are "bitter!!"

What the hell.

I thought Barack Hussein Obama was supposed to be uber intelligent, but apparently the crowned Prince of America, took a page from Dukakis(tank picture) and Kerry(“I voted for it before I voted against it.”) or even Gore(lock box and making out, creepily with his wife on national TV). I personally think maybe he should consult his spiritual adviser, well wait he had to fire his priest. How the hell does that happen? Honestly, who fires their spiritual advisor for something that they have been doing for two decades. Well, wait we are all just intolerant rednecks who only think about our values.

Nathan Robert Zehringer “The Great Fat White American”

Editor in Chief/Lead Columnist for www.fatwhiteamerican.com

It is in the news, it is the perceived inevitable self caused death of all things human, global warming. We can not escape it. It is the horror that we all have to live with. Our collective selfishness has brought on our pre-determined extinction. Every major weather event in the United States is now the result of the self indulgences of our society, cars, industry, fossil fuels, electricity, fast food, and garbage. Everything is now out of the ordinary and can only be explained by the wrath of global warming. Well, that is what the media would have all citizens of the world believe, but the fact is that the paranoia that has set in is based on opinions and a few selected facts.

No one man, woman, or child can debate over the last 100 years that the Earth has warmed, but the fact is the Earth has been warming now for 18,000+years. By the clock of the planet, Earth has been warming for about five minutes, and it has been warming for 17900 years without any possible human contribution. The fact that the Earth is warming has many factors not just one. There are three general effects that factor in to global warming, the astronomical effect, the atmospheric effect, and tectonic effect. The astronomical factors are orbit, sun's power output, Earth's tilt, and Earth's wobble. The atmospheric factors are heat retention (greenhouse effect), and solar reflectivity. The tectonic factors are land mass distribution, and undersea ridge activity.

Overall human beings, at the most aggressive estimates contribute 0.2-0.3% of the “Greenhouse Effect.” The greenhouse effect is only one of eight factors that effect global warming. As any intelligent human being can figure out a 0.2-0.3% contribution to only one out of eight factors is not a significant amount. Greenhouse gases are the most significant force in maintaining Earth's temperature, but not the only one and humans are making a small insignificant addition to it.